User Profile

Personally, I am your typical guy - ok actually I am nothing like your typical guy. You probably would think I am the biggest idiot you have ever met. I have moved past that "be serious, and act your age" stage that most peeps get stuck in, and have accepted the fact that life can really blow ass at times, so hell I might as well laugh my way through it. I enjoy retarded tattoos, especially the conversations they will eventually make you have with your kids like “dad why the hell do you have a kitty cat tattooed to your leg”. I love to play nut-ball. I have no problem whistling at dudes (hell guys should know there hot too). I believe snorting should be of use for any substance that is powder and that same goes for shot glasses with liquids, you wouldn’t believe the burn salt will give you or the gag reflex you fight from a shot of olive oil. I wear all my athletic shorts with the pockets out no matter what because I will lose my keys in them. Also I believe nothing is sacred we should be allowed to laugh at anything be it fat Buddha, falling cripples, idiots hurting themselves, or any other circumstance that one’s brain deems worth a laugh.
I am really bad with girls. I am typically smooth, confident maybe mysteriously cocky, hilarious, incredibly good-looking basically irresistible until I realize that I may be attracted to them and I instantly turn into a nervous, bumbling rejection waiting to happen. Maybe I am bad at picking who to go for or possibly I am just a man, who would make me an idiot for the most part, I can't figure it out. I need a chick that can take a joke and healthy doses of sarcasm. And also realizes that what happens in the movies isn’t the way real life works. I’m sorry I would love to be a time traveling noble that is delicious and makes women around him melt with but a gaze but for the love of god that’s not for reals. I am a Christian, granted not a very good one at times but I got my fingers crossed that bein a preachers kid will get me some bonus points. As a consequence I could care less about what your religion is but I will ridicule it no matter what be it Christianity, the church of the fonz, kabala, Judaism, hell take your pick. Nothing personal but again nothing is sacred and everything has something funny about it.
Currently im training to go into the military (fingers crossed they won’t steal my boyish charm). So I spend the majority of my day destroying this body of mine so I won’t be king of the fatties when I arrive at basic. Basically doing exercises that would make the cast of 300 nervous. Flipping giant tires, tossing around sandbags, ripping up trees, running just to hear my thighs scream obscenities at me, you know all the normal stuff.
Well that took way to long I guess it’s an ok synopsis of me, well as far as a couple paragraphs can go at describing someone at least. So anyway laters

Favorite Quote:

Inflatable mattress, afloat in scattered paper, paddling pens past distractions, stranded on my island screaming at passers by, so far away it sounds like music...

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